Saturday, 21 January 2012

The Burnout

As a dyslexic I find that my biggest problem at University is burnout. I learned a long time ago that I have a limited mental capacity, I used to call it my mental threshold. People I worked with quickly learned how to identify when I'd reached this point and often would resort to intellectually picking on me when ever I was found in this state by forcing me to engage in a complication conversation.

Burning out for me is the end all. I can't concentrate or focus on anything.
I can't string sentences together. Sort of like a stutter but as well as pronunciation trouble I mix up my word order and often struggle to find the words at all.
I become very clumsy. I'm normally not a particularly clumsy person, I can't dance but that's not dependent on my mental state. After a burnout I find I bump into things and drop everything I pick up spill drinks, everything.
I can't read, words disappear on the page or just plain don't make any sense, it's very irritating.

I drive my wife crazy at home, it's like I'm in a vegetative state, only walking around. As a dyslexic my mind is disorganised at the best of times and adding mental strain to it is cataclysmic.

Burnouts have lasted as long as 6 weeks and can have a huge impact on motivation. I've completely abandoned projects in the past sheerly due to a lengthy burnout, most of which I've never been able to return to, despite my best efforts. When I started looking at University it was near the top of my list of things I'd need to learn to manage if I was going to get through it. I didn't want to let some extended burn out lead to my quitting the course.


I've experienced two major burnouts this year, both were very untimely. The first was just before an exam when I'd been cramming all morning. I answered some of the questions so fantastically poorly that one of my lecturers actually assumed that I'd had some sort of computer problem during the test... sadly I'm honest and owned up to my mistake.

The second was just recently on my FYP. I missed out a couple of key elements of my design and research document, such as the front cover, hopefully it's not going to cost me too many marks.


Prevention:
1. Time-management seems to be the key, not necessarily the allocation of time per task but the listing of the tasks itself it what helps. Somehow knowing what I've still to do delays the burnout.
2. I do my best to keep ahead of all my school work. As soon as I receive a body of work I start on it. Especially if I've still yet to learn anything about how to complete it (which is common in my Uni, they favour the 'here's what you're going to do. Now let's learn ya to do it' approach) If I already have a start on it in some aspect, even if it's just an idea, it's much easier to work on it later.

Handling:
Dealing with a burnout is tricky. I've found that there are two ways that work best.
1. A hobby. I bounce between music and writing. While music is immune, writing can be affected by a burnout, so I rely more on music but I value them both equally as therapies. After an hour or so writing or a jam session with the band I can actually feel my mind enter a state of repair. Usually by the next morning I'm back up to speed.
2. Sleep. It's sometimes really hard to leave something until tomorrow but I find it's usually the best thing to do. Unless the deadline is tomorrow morning, it can wait one night.

The trick is to keep your mind working, just not as hard and not of the same type of thing that caused the burnout in the first place. My school work is all technical thinking and information assimilation, both writing and music are creative outputs.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing your experience, I started university last year and I think that probably I'm experiencing this

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